You can’t pour from an empty cup
This has been said many of times before, by many people but for me last year I truly found that my cup was empty and I had no more to give to anyone. I had no more to give to my husband, to my children or to myself. I had gotten all the way empty before I could even see that this was no way to keep on living. Taking care of yourself as a woman has got to be priority #1, we are of no use to anyone broken down, beat up or simply a hot a#s mess. If you feel you need a mental health check-up, let go of the stigma and get it done, you’ll be happier because of it. If you’ve made no time in the last six months to paint your own nails because you just simply haven’t had the time; sit on your bed and instead of opening Facebook dedicate that time to yourself. As a mother, my children are always a prioritize but I realized that in order to be the best mom and to be my best self I have to give to myself first before giving to anyone else. On an airplane you’re expected to put your own mask on before helping anyone else, that’s because you’re of no use to anyone if you can’t breathe. Take care of you, love yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
That two letter word (NO)
Learning and owning the word ‘no’ has always been my most difficult challenge. It has taken me a long time to know and own the fact that ‘no’ means ‘no’ and to have no guilt associated with it at all. At times as women we often give ourselves up to so many people; whether it be at work, with family and friends and even at the church, it’s generally a hard time to say it and mean it! However, over this last year, I knew that I wanted to reclaim power over my own life and actions and that meant taking the time out to say ‘no’ to birthday parties, playdates, visits, events, work functions and countless toys at Target. When I first started to say no instead of yes to everything; in the beginning, it often left feelings of regret and feeling like I should be doing more. It also felt as if I owed something to all those I’ve said no to. For far too often I’d been saying yes to things that I really didn’t want to and forcing myself into situations that left me feeling uneasy, annoyed or straight up bored and wasting my time as I’m sure many of us do on a daily basis. But in reality, I owe nothing to no one and being able to own this tiny two-letter word left me feeling so much more empowered and free and I’ll keep doing it.
Just do it!
After deciding I was going to quit my 9-5 and writing a resignation letter the day came and I wasn’t going to do it. I’d thought of every excuse in the book… “It’s going to be hard”, “What will they think of me?”, “I’m kind of happy where I am (lie)”, “I don’t know if I’m good enough to succeed”! And anything else I could think of, I sat on the email for hours that day, I almost didn’t go into the office I kept thinking… Should I do it? Is it worth it? But the best advice to date was given by my husband was at that very moment. I use this every single time I have an ounce of doubt in my mind, or when counseling a friend. “You miss every shot you don’t take”, truer words have never been spoken! I learned this past year that in life and living it makes no sense to not take the chance, to not just do it, to not go for it. What do you really have to lose? You’ll never know what’s out there for you if you sit back and settle for mediocracy! To me at that very moment, I thought to myself that all the excuses I had were irrelevant because I wouldn’t know what I was missing if I didn’t even give it a shot. I was miserable with the commute, missing my family and I wasn’t at all living up to my full potential. I wanted to leave but excuses held me back and the opportunity was knocking down my door and I was going to let my fear and excuses hold me back again? I had to realize that in order to move forward, in order to make the shots and progress in anything I just had to DO IT!
I hope that this inspires you to keep going, to take those shots and to say no and mean it. Leave a comment below if you’ve ever had experiences similar or if have any lessons you’d like to share as well!