The goal of the Mental Health Mom Series is for Moms and Moms-to-be to share their stories to be used to help inspire, uplift and spread awareness about mental health and motherhood. Whether you suffer from depression, PPD, PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder or something else your story may help change the life of another mom reader and that’s important to me!
A submission by Jenn Decker of More Than A Mom Of Three.
PTSD Is More Than I Thought!
PTSD also know as post-traumatic stress disorder was something I only thought happened when men and woman came back from war.
I never knew it could happen to me.
The back story
I married the man of my dreams 15 years ago. The fairytale love story, we had three children that I got to stay home with and we looked like the typical all American family from the outside.
However the day I found out my husband had an affair my world changed and I was blindsided. I thought we had a very good marriage.
I’ve had my bouts of depression over the last decade. I lost my mom suddenly just after my first child was born and I had three kids very close in age.
There were times where depression has taken over my world but nothing ever like PTSD.
There were days where I could not move or function. I did not want to get dressed, shower and I had many triggers that would set me off into a tailspin. I felt like a terrible mother for not being able to pull myself together for my children that needed me.
I was in a fog just going through the motions of every day like and became robotic.
The triggers are what really started to run my life. A certain song or a certain place I would drive by. I began avoiding things at all costs because I could not deal with the pain. I was terrified to sleep knowing I would have to wake up to the reality of what my life was. It was the most painful experience of my life.
This went on for months before my sister stepped in and said ‘You need help!”. I was ashamed to talk to someone about my issues. I was ashamed to admit how I felt and I did not want anyone to judge me.
We were seeing a marriage therapist at the time but after my sister said that I sought out my own sessions with a different therapist. I was so glad I did and it turned my life around. She was amazing and helped me realize this was not just depression it was more.
I was actually shocked!
It has been almost three years ago when I was diagnosed with PTSD. With a ton of my own therapy and finding myself again, I can say I have made it through some very dark times.
Sure I still get triggers here and there but I have learned how to cope with them in a healthy way and truly focus on what makes me happy.
She encouraged me to find my own passion something just for me to bring my focus on healing.
I turned to fitness and hired a trainer who became more than a trainer. She pushed me harder than I thought possible and it was like a different therapy session for me. And then I realized how strong I am not only physically but mentally and it changed the game for me.
Although traditional therapy was what I needed this was the icing on the cake.
During this time I realized I can beat this because I am a strong woman and I became a much better mother because of it too. I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason and three years later I am so much happier than I ever was.
As moms, we are taught to be strong but sometimes we need help and it is ok to ask for it when we need it. I wish I did not have to suffer in silence for months.
Reach out to someone, a good friend, your sibling, mom whomever just reach out. There are support groups for many different mental health issues no one should have to suffer alone.
Jenn Decker is mom blogger at More Than A Mom Of Three. At ‘More Than A Mom Of Three’, she helps overwhelmed moms run their homes more efficiently! Home organization tips, time management tips, routines, cleaning schedules and simple recipes your kids will love.